When you’re preparing to welcome a baby, you’re often told “just go with the flow” or “don’t bother writing a birth plan, it’ll never go that way anyway.”
But here’s the truth: while birth can be unpredictable, you still deserve to feel informed, supported, and in control of your choices. A great birth plan, or what I like to call a birth map, isn’t about scripting your birth step-by-step. It’s about understanding your options, communicating your preferences, and feeling confident as you move through one of life’s biggest transitions.
Through teaching Aotearoa-wide online antenatal classes, in-person antenatal classes in Hamilton, and practicing as a midwife, I’ve supported hundreds (if not thousands!) of pregnancies and births. I’ve seen time and time again how birth education and planning reduce the risk of trauma and help people feel calm, capable, and heard – no matter what path their birth takes.
In this blog, I’ll guide you through how to create a birth plan (or map!) that helps you feel empowered, not boxed in. Plus, I’ll share a free template you can use to get started.
What Is a Birth Plan Really About?
A birth plan is often misunderstood. It’s not about controlling every detail or expecting things to unfold exactly as written. It’s about:
- Becoming informed of all your options
- Understanding why certain interventions might be recommended
- Deciding what’s important to you in your birth and early postpartum
- Enabling your partner/support people and care providers to advocate for you
I prefer the term birth map because just like a road trip, you know your starting point (labour onset) and your destination (meeting your baby), but there are many routes to get there. Some will be smooth and scenic, others may take unexpected detours, and that’s okay. You can still be in the driver’s seat.
Why Planning Ahead Matters
Birth planning isn’t just about designing your dream birth – it’s also about preparing for the “just in case.”
By thinking through different scenarios and understanding your options ahead of time, you can approach any twists or turns with calm and clarity. When things don’t go to plan, you’re not starting from scratch, you’ve already built a foundation of informed, confident decision-making.
Birth planning helps you:
- Feel calm and confident going into labour
- Communicate your wishes with your support team
- Reduce the likelihood of trauma by fostering informed decision-making
- Stay involved and respected in emergency or high-pressure situations
Yes! Even an induction, assisted delivery or caesarean birth can be positive and empowering when you feel like you’re the one making the decisions.
What to Include in Your Birth Plan (or Map!)
Focus on what really matters to you. Here are some of the things I recommend considering:
1. Your Labour Preferences
- Support people you’d like present
- Environment: location, lighting, music, aromatherapy, birth affirmations
- Use of water, movement, or tools like a birth ball
- Preferences around vaginal checks or time alone during labour
2. Pain Relief Options
- Natural options: heat, massage, TENS, HypnoBirthing etc
- Medical options: nitrous oxide, epidural, pain meds
- When/if you’d like to be offered pain relief
3. Monitoring & Interventions
- Thoughts on fetal monitoring (continuous vs intermittent)
- Your values around induction, breaking waters, augmentation
- Any preferences around assisted delivery methods
4. Birth & Immediate Postpartum Preferences
- Pushing positions or spontaneous pushing
- Delayed cord clamping
- Skin-to-skin and golden hour care
- Feeding intentions and support needed
5. Contingency Plans
- Caesarean preferences: partner presence, music, skin-to-skin
- NICU or special care situations: involvement in decisions, expressing colostrum
- Understanding that even if things change, your voice still matters
Why It Matters for Birth Partners & Health Professionals Too
A birth plan isn’t just for you – it helps your support team show up confidently too. When your birth partner knows what matters to you, they can:
- Advocate on your behalf when you’re in the zone
- Remind you of your goals when things feel overwhelming
- Feel more prepared, connected, and involved in the experience
Bring your birth plan/preferences to your antenatal appointments and discuss it with your midwife, obstetrician, or support person. For healthcare professionals, a birth plan communicates what matters to the birthing person and what kind of care environment helps them feel safe and respected. It builds mutual understanding and teamwork!
Download Your Free Birth Plan Template
I’ve created a beautiful, easy-to-use birth plan template that walks you through each section step by step. Whether you’re planning a home birth, hoping for a water birth, VBAC or preparing for a caesarean, this template will help you reflect, communicate, and plan with confidence.
Get my Birth Preferences Template for free by using the code HEYMAMA at checkout.
You Deserve More Than “A Healthy Baby”
You’ve probably heard it before: “All that matters is a healthy baby.”
But that’s simply not true.
You matter too.
Your emotional wellbeing, your autonomy, and your voice during birth all matter just as much.
What truly matters is a healthy baby, a healthy parent, AND an empowered birthing experience, no matter how your story unfolds.
Birth planning won’t guarantee the outcome, but it will help you feel informed, supported, and respected along the way.
Want More Support?
If you’d love more down-to-earth, holistic, evidence-based information and support, check out my self-paced online or in-person Hamilton antenatal classes, or head over and follow me on instagram (@mylittlekiwi_). I’m here to help you:
- Understand your choices
- Build your confidence
- Prepare emotionally and practically for birth and postpartum
- Connect with a community that gets it
Visit www.mylittlekiwi.co.nz to explore classes, free resources, and tools to help you feel calm and confident on your journey to parenthood!