Navigating the fourth trimester is a huge adjustment for everyone in the whānau, not just pēpi and māmā. Partners, dads, non-birthing parents and co-parents often splash into this phase full of excitement and nerves. Yet their needs can get lost amid feeding schedules, healing bodies and over-tired minds. Here’s why supporting dads and partners matters, and some practical ways to make that early journey smoother.
Why partners need support, too
Each year about 58,539 babies are born in Aotearoa, so there are plenty of families working out this new normal right now (Stats NZ). Partners often juggle learning infant cues, navigating parental leave and keeping the household ticking over. On top of that, up to one in ten dads experience postnatal depression or anxiety (Plunket New Zealand). It is not “just a mother’s issue”. If left unchecked, anxiety and low mood in a partner can affect the entire family’s wellbeing and bonding.
Practical ways to support partners
- Share the load
- Swap evening feeds or settling duties so both parents get evenings to rest.
- Offer to take responsibility for nappies or baths on set days.
- Check in emotionally
- Ask open questions like, “How are you finding this week?” rather than assuming they’ll speak up.
- Normalise feelings of overwhelm. A simple, “It is okay to feel out of your depth,” can be a huge relief.
- Encourage connection
- Plan a short daily ritual, maybe a five-minute cuppa together so you can touch base without distraction.
- Suggest phone or video check-ins with close whānau if they live away.
- Point to professional help
- Early support can stop worries from snowballing.
- Encourage them to chat with a midwife, GP or kōrero with a trained professional.
How professional fourth-trimester support helps
Multiple Choice’s founder Emma (BNurs PGDipMid) has walked the walk as both a mum and a midwife. She offers tailored support for the whole whānau from short online consults to in-home visits when you need that extra hand. Here’s a snapshot:
- Online Consult Bundle (from $160)
One-hour call and a week of follow-up support by phone or email. Perfect for tackling a couple of questions. - A Little Bit More Bundle (from $180)
Up to two hours in your home for a full assessment of pēpi, māmā and partner, plus a week of daytime follow-up support. - Multiple Bundle (from $280)
For twins or higher-needs situations: three hours of in-home assessment and personalised care plans for each baby and parent. - Evening Care Bundle (from $350)
Six-hour night-time support so parents can get solid rest. Carer availability is limited, so a prior daytime consult is required.
If you are based in Queenstown, Arrowtown or Jacks Point, Emma can visit your home. Central Otago families are welcome too, with modest travel charges. After your chosen bundle, you can book extra daytime support at $60 an hour or evening help at $70 an hour.
Getting started
If you’d like to explore what support might look like, Emma offers a free 15-minute chat before you book. Sometimes just having a plan and knowing someone has your back is enough to settle the nerves and lift the mood.
The fourth trimester can be full on but you do not have to do it alone. With shared responsibilities, honest conversations and a bit of professional help when you need it, partners can find their feet and your whole whānau will thrive.